Who’s with me?

If by chance you had forgotten that Valentine’s Day is this week, turning on practically any tv channel yesterday would have clued you in. Did anyone else notice the mega-marathon of cheesy romantic comedies that almost all the big stations had playing?

Anyone else get sucked in and watch movie after movie after movie?

I don’t think I accomplished much else.

Here’s just some of what was on. I’m assuming most stations will keep replaying the movies all week.

What’s your go-to romantic movie?

*all images from amazon.com 

This is an 18+ post

So, I must confess and admit that I took the easy route for Valentine’s Day this year.

I bought Ben an Xbox game (Skyrim) that he’s been drooling over and gave it to him weeks ago. And I picked out one for myself too, as my part of the gift.

So essentially, we were done with Valentine’s shopping before it was even February. Not really the most romantic set up, but we’re both happy campers and when I want some alone time on twitter or pinterest, Ben is happy to ignore me for hours on end oblige.

But if we were doing the traditionally lovey/sexy/romantic route this year, these would be my top picks from EdenFantasys:

 Lelo Flickering Touch Massage Candle – $23.99

This candle wax, made from natural soy, shea butter, and apricot oil melts into a massage oil for some serious TLC. It also has some pretty neat scent combinations, which are Black Pepper & Pomegranate, Vanilla & Creme de Cacao, and Snow Pear & Cedarwood.

Why I’d pick it:  It’s the fun of playing with hot wax, without burning your jiggly bits or having wax permanently stuck to your good sheets.

Rose Petal Soap Flakes – $9.99

If you’re like me, you appreciate the little details of a gift, because they show the effort you put into planning it. If you’re at risk of ending up in the dog house by not having something figured out for V-Day, pairing this cute little heart shaped soap box with some scented candles for a luxurious soak in the tub just might save the day.

Why I’d pick it: A long, hot soak in the tub is one of those simple pleasures in life. And if you have kids, being in the bathroom alone is probably a gift in itself.

Love Card – $25-100

Okay, so maybe it sounds like a lame cop-out, but if you’re looking to buy something for your significant other from a website like EdenFantasys, your best bet is to get their imput. Buy the gift card and spend V-Day doing some internet shopping together. It’s a gift that keeps on giving!

Why I’d pick it: Unless you’re 120% sure you know your honey’s comfort level when it comes to sex, you risk the chance of striking out (or freaking them the hell out). Picking out stuff together is also great for some open communication about what’s going on in your sex life.

What’s on your wishlist for Valentine’s Day this year?

Another year, another Superbowl, and another round of brand new commercials for us to rate. Here are my faves:

The M&M’s 

Mr. Quiggly

What was your favorite commercial this year?

My MIL sent me this joke in an email yesterday, and I thought it was too cute not to share:

Bert always wanted a pair of authentic cowboy boots, so, seeing some on sale, he bought them and wore them home.

Walking proudly, he sauntered into the kitchen and said to his wife, “Notice anything different about me?”

Margaret looked him over. “Nope.”

Frustrated, Bert stormed off into the bathroom, undressed and walked back into the kitchen completely naked except for the boots.

Again he asked Margaret, a little louder this time, “Notice anything different NOW?”

Margaret looked up and said in her best deadpan, “Bert, what’s different? It’s hanging down today, it was hanging down yesterday, it’ll be hanging down again tomorrow.”

Furious, Bert yelled, “AND DO YOU KNOW WHY IT’S HANGING DOWN, MARGARET?”

“Nope. Not a clue”, she replied.

“IT’S HANGING DOWN, BECAUSE IT’S LOOKING AT MY NEW BOOTS!!!!”

Without missing a beat Margaret replied, “Shoulda bought a hat, Bert. Shoulda bought a hat.”

This is an 18+ post.

While I was reading The Bloggess’ SEXIS column on EdenFantasys the other day, I stumbled across her piece on vaginal alarm clocks.

Seriously.

Although I have to admit, as soon as I read that The Bloggess said it looked like a turkey  thermometer, my interest was piqued enough to click on the product’s website.

I personally think it looks more like a spatula than a turkey thermometer.

The strange contraption is called The Little Rooster, and according to the product’s website, it is “an alarm clock that wakes you with pleasure . . . [it] wakes you gradually, sensually, tenderly.” It is worn externally, resting against your pubic bone and pulsates your nether regions.

And if the name alone isn’t enough to weird you out, The Little Rooster has three speeds/settings: Snooze, Snorgasm, and Play.

Here’s the thing: How many of you, like me, fall asleep with socks/hair ties/clothing/whatever, and wake up to them tangled in the blanket at your feet? What if you’re a restless sleeper and one roll too many has that Little Rooster crowing somewhere unwanted? If it doesn’t end up elsewhere in the bed, what if it just migrates around in your underwear? Good Morning! There’s a vibrator shoved halfway up your ass!

No. Thank. You.

If you’re braver than I and The Little Rooster is something you’re interested in checking out, you can purchase it online for a whopping 69 euros ($88.16 US dollars).

What do you think? Is this the next big thing in sexual health or just a creepy product with an equally creepy name? 

This month has been pretty crazy, thanks to my weekly driver training. And with this Friday being my last day, when I have to re-take my driver’s test (included parallel parking the full-sized van), it’s been even more hectic around here this week. So when Ben and I got the chance to review some of the fruit smoothies from McDonald’s, it couldn’t have come at a better time. Plus, if we were already heading to McDonald’s for smoothies, we could pick up dinner and then I didn’t have to cook, which is always a win in my book.

There are two McDonalds near my house, and they are owned by two separate franchises. The closer one sucks, but the good one is twice the drive. Because we weren’t in the mood to drive anymore (the days I have training, I’m in the car for 4+ hours), we took our chances with the closer McDonalds.

That ended up being a total mistake. I actually worked at this McDonald’s when I was 16, so I could literally have rolled my happy little crippled butt in there and done it myself; and quite frankly, I probably should have, since the oblivious teenagers working the drive-thru window were not very helpful. For one thing, we didn’t get napkins, and then they shoved our food into one bag, when it really needed two. The real kicker was that the dumb kid handed us FOUR cups (our drink meals and the smoothies) instead of giving us a cup carrier. So I go to sit and hold our food and the smoothies during the car ride home, hoping that nothing spilled.

Check out the full photo album from our trip to McDonald’s.

Thankfully, whoever was working the grill had a clue, because all of our food was hot and made well.  And even though our smoothies were half-melted from me holding them in the car, they were really good.

I usually don’t order specialty drinks from fast food places, because of the high sugar content messing with my diabetes. I can tell you that while the mang0-pineapple smoothie was awesome, I could only take a few sips before I started getting cotton mouth/headache, which are my body’s usual signs of sugar-overload. So my smoothie is hanging out in the fridge for me to drink slowly over the next couple of days, unless Ben finishes it tomorrow morning on his way to work. He ordered the strawberry-banana, which he apparently liked very much, since it was gone in about 30 seconds.

Have you tried any of the smoothies from McDonald’s? What flavor is your favorite?

This shop has been compensated as part of a social shopper insights study for Collective Bias.

My medical records did not end up at the right place, for the second time in this three-month fiasco. 

After another round of phone tag, I have the feeling that the hospital’s copy center supervisor is either sick of hearing from me, or just pitied me. Either way, she (finally) decided to fax the paperwork directly to the clinical research coordinator, and within two hours, I had confirmation calls that the paperwork was (finally) where it needed to be.

*Insert incredibly large sigh of relief here*

After getting my records, the coordinator emailed me to give me the rest of the info about being a part of the research. I will be meeting with a doctor who specializes in Limb-Girdle muscular dystrophy – which is awesome and slightly creepy that my doctor will know more about how my body moves/doesn’t move than I do.

To make a long story short, it will take two months for the doctor/staff to review my medical records, and then I’ll have an appointment scheduled. Hopefully, it means the end of the first half of this journey to pregnancy – getting the answers we’ve been working towards for the past three years.

Here’s hoping these two months go very, very fast.

For some reason, my sister Chelly is pretty obsessed with a large-mouthed, fuzzy brown square.

Also known as Domo.

Domo means “Thank You” / “I’m Sorry” / “Excuse Me” / etc.*

And while she’s not so great as a study buddy, she is my favorite model and hat-creation guinea pig.

I love Domo’s bright red mouth – such a fun pop of color! I was less impressed by the teeth, which didn’t get as pointy as I had hoped. Next time I’ll try using a thinner yarn too, so the teeth don’t look as bumpy.

My favorite part of the hat are the braids – I love how the red, white, and chocolate brown look together. Then again, our wedding colors were red, white, and black, so it’s possible that I’m a little biased.

Chelly told me that none of her classmates believed that I made the hat for her. I was pretty surprised by it, since the only other crocheted Domo hats I’ve seen are all on Etsy (which is where I got the idea from in the first place).

By the time the hat was done, I could see why Chelly’s so infatuated with Domo. His strangely-cute-and-toothy grin has a way of growing on you.

*Says the almighty Google search results.  

Are you a Domo fan or as clueless as I was?
What crafty projects are you working on?

Dear Mom:

Tomorrow is a celebration in so many ways.

You have made it up and over the hill,  and came out on top.

The old cliche says blood is thicker than water.

You’ve taught me that it’s superglue.

You have loved us – your kids –  unconditionally,
and have never been afraid to show it, whether we liked it or not.

You’re out of your 40s – making it to the birthday Dad never celebrated.
It’s a bittersweet reminder of how precious every day is,
and how important you are to me.

Happy 50th Birthday, Momma. May the best be yet to come.

Love,

Your “Betsy-Boop”