Yesterday, I texted my friend, who got married a couple of weeks ago, to “see how the newlyweds were doing”. And as I expected, she replied that nothing has changed. I can’t even tell you how many times I gave that answer – most couples who were already living together before tying the knot feel that way, it seems. I joked with her that the biggest change with marriage is that it’s harder to kick your spouse out of the house.
I had to laugh as she disagreed, because all of their possessions are in her name. I started thinking about our first six months of marriage, and how tough they were. In truth, we were a bunch of kids playing in the adult world, yet refusing to grow up. After one particularly rough argument, I spewed my favorite verbal venom, rippled the rings off my left hand, and told Ben that I was done. He had to leave.
Instead of storming back to our bedroom to throw clothes in a bag, he folded his arms across his chest and simply said “no”.
His “no” caught me completely off guard. And even though I was furious, I laughed at how ridiculous we were. And although I can’t remember anything that happened later that day, it was the last time an argument ended with a threat of moving out or calling it quits.
With Thanksgiving just days away, and everyone posting about the things they are thankful for, my newlywed friend reminded me that, I’m thankful it’s hard to kick my husband out.
Especially on the days when I deserve to be left alone.
The days when he’s done something worthy of having his bags tossed on the front lawn.
He’s made it quite clear that he’s not going anywhere. Plain and simple.
I’m so thankful that I can’t kick him out.
I’m Jenn: 20-something, writer, wife, penguin-fanatic, wanna-be crafter and crippled kid. I live in the boonies of Pennsylvania with my hubby, Ben, and our furbabies.
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We had some really embarrassing-to-remember moments early-on. Just like high school and adolescence, the newlywed period is fun to sentimentalize but I am SOOOOO glad I don’t live in it anymore!!!
And that’s why your marriage will last…
so many people don’t place the value on marriage that it should have, it’s too easy to call it quits nowadays…and though I don’t blame pop culture for everyday problems, the quick marriages and divorces in Hollywood surely aren’t helping the situation…
Not a Perfect Mom recently posted..The Crash
We have never had a real fight. Can you believe that? We have had disagreements where we both try to explain our side to each other and we usually find out one of us heard the other but voices are never raised and we are never mad. It’s so nice lol
stephanie recently posted..weight loss & p90x
girlfriend…i relate big time. i’ve said for years that the only core difference between a good marriage & a divorce is that in a good marriage noone leaves.
I have tried to fight with Doug on occasion but he is so mellow it is like fighting with a chair. Takes all the fun out of it. LOL
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I love this post because it also describes my marriage. In which neither of us would ever dream of leaving
Great post and great thing to be thankful for… I know what it’s like to be on the other side… to have him be too easy to kick out… you have a wonderful gift and I’m glad for you that you know it!
Sorta Southern Single Mom recently posted..PYHO: Thankful
I like the way you write. I can hear you talking to me like we were just sitting there drinking coffee – except that I don’t drink coffee. Hot chocolate then. My husband is on weight watchers and he is, uh, difficult when he’s hungry. So it’s been a day. Don’t want to throw him out, just want to throw him a Twix and tell him to go eat it in the other room. I’m sure he will be much happier tomorrow when he cuts loose for Thanksgiving. I am grateful for that.
Hope you have a good one!
Heather
My husband’s bestfriend (we like to call them a bromance because those two are like two of the most hairest peas in the pod) just revealed to us that he and his wife are having problems. Then 2 weeks later, his wife is moving to Toronto because she applied for a job there. He is staying here.
It rocked us to the core and had us scratching our heads. The last few years of our marriage we’ve been dealing with some major issues. I have chronic back pain, I was diagnosed with postpartum depression which turned into bipolar, and now the doctors found a tumor in my gallbladder which is still being investigated.
Anyways, my point is, marriage will go through so many ups…and lots of downs…it’s the couples that can weather it together that make it. Despite what is going on in life.
What a fantastic thing to be grateful for! I know, I’m late to the party, catching up on last Wed PYHO link-up, bt you just made me so HAPPY that I did. You just made it worthwhile. Every new marriage has it’s issues. It truly sounds like you have a keeper. And a new follower, because if this post is anything like the rest of your blog, I have DAYS of entertainment ahead of me!
I totally get this!
And have felt like that with my own husband, too- and there are days I’m thankful that it’s hard for him to kick me out, too!
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