My best friend is getting married today! At the wedding, I will be giving the toast, since the best man wasn’t too thrilled at the idea, and clearly, we all know I’m a total ham more than willing.
On a whim, I suggested to the bride that I should do an “everything I know about love, I learned from The Princess Bride” toast. I wasn’t expecting her to be so excited about it. (How did I not remember that she loves the movie as much as I do?)
Unfortunately, there was no way to get a projector in time to put video clips up to go along with the quotes to actually use it at the wedding, but I thought I’d share them anyway:
Everything I know about marriage, I learned
from THE PRINCESS BRIDE
- Be your partner’s cheerleader, even when things look grim. They will always need your support.
Man in Black: Look, are you just fiddling around with me or what?
Fezzik: I just want you to feel you’re doing well.
- Put family first.
Inigo Montoya: Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die.
- Be patient with each other. A “perfect” marriage doesn’t happen overnight.
Miracle Max: You rush a miracle man, you get rotten miracles.
- Don’t hold on to past offenses.
Inigo Montoya: I agree with Fezzik.
Vizzini: Oh, the sot has spoken. What happens to her is not truly your concern. I will kill her. And remember this, never forget this: when I found you, you were so slobbering drunk, you couldn’t buy Brandy!
Vizzini: And YOU: friendless, brainless, helpless, hopeless! Do you want me to send you back to where you were? Unemployed, in Greenland?
- Mean what you say, and say what you mean.
Vizzini: HE DIDN’T FALL? INCONCEIVABLE.
Inigo Montoya: You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.
- Make time for “date nights”.
Count Rugen: Ah. Are you coming down into the pit? Wesley’s got his strength back. I’m starting him on the machine tonight.
Prince Humperdinck: Tyrone, you know how much I love watching you work, but I’ve got my country’s 500th anniversary to plan, my wedding to arrange, my wife to murder and Guilder to frame for it; I’m swamped.
Count Rugen: Get some rest. If you haven’t got your health, then you haven’t got anything.
- Always fight fair . . .
Fezzik: We face each other as God intended. Sportsmanlike. No tricks, no weapons, skill against skill alone.
Man in Black: You mean, you’ll put down your rock and I’ll put down my sword, and we’ll try and kill each other like civilized people?
Fezzik: I could kill you now.
Man in Black: Frankly, I think the odds are slightly in your favor at hand fighting.
Fezzik: It’s not my fault being the biggest and the strongest. I don’t even exercise.
- . . . and no name calling . . .
Miracle Max: Get back, witch.
Valerie: I’m not a witch, I’m your wife. But after what you just said, I’m not even sure I want to be that any more.
- - - - -
Westley: You warthog-faced buffoon.
- . . . when you win an argument, do so gracefully.
Inigo Montoya: You know, Fezzik, you finally did something right.
Fezzik: Don’t worry, I won’t let it go to my head.
- Reminisce about your wedding day often.
The Impressive Clergyman: Mawage. Mawage is wot bwings us togeder tooday. Mawage, that bwessed awangment, that dweam wifin a dweam…The Impressive Clergyman: And wuv, tru wuv, will fowow you foweva…The Impressive Clergyman: So tweasure your wuv.
Prince Humperdinck: Skip to the end.
The Impressive Clergyman: Have you the wing?The Impressive Clergyman: …and do you,Pwincess Buwwercup…
Prince Humperdinck: Man and wife. Say man and wife.
The Impressive Clergyman: Man an’ wife.
Congrats Amanda and Greg! May your mawage be full of wuv and wuafter!