My best friend is getting married today! At the wedding, I will be giving the toast, since the best man wasn’t too thrilled at the idea, and clearly, we all know I’m a total ham more than willing.

On a whim, I suggested to the bride that I should do an “everything I know about love, I learned from The Princess Bride” toast. I wasn’t expecting her to be so excited about it. (How did I not remember that she loves the movie as much as I do?)

Unfortunately, there was no way to get a projector in time to put video clips up to go along with the quotes to actually use it at the wedding, but I thought I’d share them anyway:

 Everything I know about marriage, I learned
from THE PRINCESS BRIDE

• Be your partner’s cheerleader, even when things look grim. They will always need your support.
  Man in Black: Look, are you just fiddling around with me or what?
  Fezzik: I just want you to feel you’re doing well.

• Put family first. 
  Inigo Montoya: Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die.

• Be patient with each other. A “perfect” marriage doesn’t happen overnight.
  Miracle Max: You rush a miracle man, you get rotten miracles.

• Don’t hold on to past offenses.
  Inigo Montoya: I agree with Fezzik.
  Vizzini: Oh, the sot has spoken. What happens to her is not truly your concern. I will kill her. And remember this, never forget this: when I found you, you were so slobbering drunk, you couldn’t buy Brandy!
  Vizzini: And YOU: friendless, brainless, helpless, hopeless! Do you want me to send you back to where you were? Unemployed, in Greenland?

• Mean what you say, and say what you mean.
  Vizzini: HE DIDN’T FALL? INCONCEIVABLE.
  Inigo Montoya: You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.

•  Make time for “date nights”.
  Count Rugen: Ah. Are you coming down into the pit? Wesley’s got his strength back. I’m starting him on the machine tonight.
  Prince Humperdinck:  Tyrone, you know how much I love watching you work, but I’ve got my country’s 500th anniversary to plan, my wedding to arrange, my wife to murder and Guilder to frame for it; I’m swamped.
  Count Rugen: Get some rest. If you haven’t got your health, then you haven’t got anything.

•  Always fight fair . . .
  Fezzik: We face each other as God intended. Sportsmanlike. No tricks, no weapons, skill against skill alone.
  Man in Black: You mean, you’ll put down your rock and I’ll put down my sword, and we’ll try and kill each other like civilized people?
  Fezzik: I could kill you now.
  Man in Black: Frankly, I think the odds are slightly in your favor at hand fighting.
  Fezzik: It’s not my fault being the biggest and the strongest. I don’t even exercise.

•  .  . . and no name calling . . .
  Miracle Max: Get back, witch.
  Valerie: I’m not a witch, I’m your wife. But after what you just said, I’m not even sure I want to be that any more.
  -  -  -  -  -
  Westley: You warthog-faced buffoon.

•  . . . when you win an argument, do so gracefully.
  Inigo Montoya: You know, Fezzik, you finally did something right.
  Fezzik: Don’t worry, I won’t let it go to my head.

• Reminisce about your wedding day often. 
  The Impressive Clergyman: Mawage. Mawage is wot bwings us togeder tooday. Mawage, that bwessed awangment, that dweam wifin a dweam…The Impressive Clergyman: And wuv, tru wuv, will fowow you foweva…The Impressive Clergyman: So tweasure your wuv.
  Prince Humperdinck: Skip to the end.
  The Impressive Clergyman: Have you the wing?The Impressive Clergyman: …and do you,Pwincess Buwwercup…
  Prince Humperdinck: Man and wife. Say man and wife.
  The Impressive Clergyman: Man an’ wife.

Congrats Amanda and Greg! May your mawage be full of wuv and wuafter!